My Thoughts for the Day, Today

What is a military wife? Well, I am understanding and patient. I run the house and pay the bills. I cry a lot in private (I am crying right now) and wipe the tears of another. I miss my little soldier! I am often underestimated as a person who is not paying attention, but I hear every word spoken, loud and clear. I am trained to do so. It is crucial to survival. It is not about me, but is about the humble person who is willing to give up his life to save many; the person who can fight as ordered and love more than any other can. He is my warrior. He will stand tall when I am a coward. He will raise his arms in defense of our country, when I am only capable of raising my arms to ask questions. I do have a lot of questions!
I am brave because I can manage a family and a household, but ask me what I would do if I was to ever be taken hostage? I would melt. I would die! I am scared! I am clostrophobic! I am closed in right now! I can't breathe! He is brave because he has no fear; no fear of being hurt, no fear of failure and no fear of death.
I could never shoot someone, neither from hate nor love. I could never put a bullet into the heart of someone who only thinks that what he is doing is right. I am not so brave afterall. As I listen to the news, I hear, "Another Canadian soldier down....". My heart feels heavy. I am aching all over. Tears fill my eyes for the loss. I quiver everytime I hear those words. Heaven forbid it could ever be my story! I cannot imagine what it would be like to be the person who just lost her best friend, her life, her everything. I am so lucky! I thank God daily because I still have my best friend, my life, my everything.
What would I do if that was ever lost? Would I live on and continue as a military widow wife or would I die? Would I run the house, pay the bills, cry a lot in private and wipe the tears of another and deem myself an idiot, or would I carry on because I know that is what he would want. Thank God, I still have my warrior and lots of time! I do not have to decide today. My question is, what if it all gets taken away? Please, just put me in the front line so I do not have to decide! In the mean time I am telling you, a military wife is a person with the nerves of steal, a heavy heart and many prayers! She also runs a hell of a household!

I Am Not Sure Who is Going Faster!

The room is hot and humid and the viewing stands are crowded. There are swarms of people everywhere to watch the swimmers below. The pool is glistening. There is a wake of white caps following behind each swimmer as they speed by. Every person in this room wants someone to win, but I want my kid to win and my kid only! My heart is racing and my hands are sweaty, as my little girl is gaining control of her race. It's going to be close --- within a hundredth of a second, or maybe even a thumb nail. Damn it, I knew I shouldn't have cut her nails!
"Swim Isabelle! Swim!"
"Kick your feet!"
"Kick, kick, kick!"
"Let's go!"
"Your almost there!"
Lane 2 is gaining on her. Her stroke is powerful and the competition is gaining momentum.
"Come on, Isabelle,"
"Kick, you little crapper!"
"Kick, kick, kick!"
I can't sit still. I'm getting edgy. I need to jump down there, but I don't want to be escorted out! "Come on, Baby Girl!"
"Kick harder! Almost home, Baby. Almost home!"
Five more meters to go. I am on the edge of my seat. I'm breathing heavy. My voice is cracking and I am trembling. My heart is racing faster than the swimmers who are swimming. I can not handle this. I glance up at the score board.... and she's.... she's.... she's---- third. Damn it, another bronze metal!